Thursday, August 14, 2008

Angry old man writes op-ed

We are all Georgians
By John McCain

For anyone who thought that stark international aggression was a thing of the past, the last week must have come as a startling wake-up call. After clashes in the Georgian region of South Ossetia, Russia invaded its neighbor, launching attacks that threaten its very existence. Some Americans may wonder why events in this part of the world are any concern of ours. After all, Georgia is a small, remote and obscure place. But history is often made in remote, obscure places.
Stark international aggression? 'You fuckin' kiddin' me??? Georgia shares a border with Russia. Which border does the US share with Iraq?

As Russian tanks and troops moved through the Roki Tunnel and across the internationally recognized border into Georgia, the Russian government stated that it was acting only to protect Ossetians. Yet regime change in Georgia appears to be the true Russian objective.
[sarcasm]Not regime change! Russia, you should know better than to topple foreign governments that defy you...[/sarcasm] Protecting the Iraqi people from Saddam became a rational for war once WMDs could not be found.

Two years ago, I traveled to South Ossetia. As soon as we arrived at its self-proclaimed capital -- now occupied by Russian troops -- I saw an enormous billboard that read, "Vladimir Putin, Our President." This was on sovereign Georgian territory.
[sarcasm]How dare these people have opinions of their owns???[/sarcasm]

Russian claims of humanitarian motives were further belied by a bombing campaign that encompassed the whole of Georgia, destroying military bases, apartment buildings and other infrastructure, and leaving innocent civilians wounded and killed. As the Russian Black Sea Fleet began concentrating off of the Georgian coast and Russian troops advanced on one city after another, there could be no doubt about the nature of their aggression.
How much of that equipement destroyed by the Russians was paid for by the US? Hey, remember when Russia sent missiles to Cuba? Over 2000 Georgian soldiers were serving in Iraq. Trained and equipped by the US military.

Despite a French-brokered cease-fire -- which worryingly does not refer to Georgia's territorial integrity -- Russian attacks have continued. There are credible reports of civilian killings and even ethnic cleansing as Russian troops move deeper into Georgian territory.

Moscow's foreign minister revealed at least part of his government's aim when he stated that "Mr. Saakashvili" -- the democratically elected president of Georgia -- "can no longer be our partner. It would be better if he went." Russia thereby demonstrated why its neighbors so ardently seek NATO membership.
Saakashvili was as much democratically elected as Saddam Hussein was. Hell, had Russia not attacked Georgia, Saakashvili would have probably ended on the US' enemy list eventually.

In the wake of this crisis, there are the stirrings of a new trans-Atlantic consensus about the way we should approach Russia and its neighbors. The leaders of Poland, Estonia, Lithuania, Ukraine and Latvia flew to Tbilisi to demonstrate their support for Georgia, and to condemn Russian aggression. The French president traveled to Moscow in an attempt to end the fighting. The British foreign minister hinted of a G-8 without Russia, and the British opposition leader explicitly called for Russia to be suspended from the grouping.
For the same reason it's better to get car insurrance before you crash your car, you don't enter NATO when you're already in conflict with your neighbors. But McCain rides in a limo, so these things are foreign to him.

The world has learned at great cost the price of allowing aggression against free nations to go unchecked. A cease-fire that holds is a vital first step, but only one. With our allies, we now must stand in united purpose to persuade the Russian government to end violence permanently and withdraw its troops from Georgia. International monitors must gain immediate access to war-torn areas in order to avert an even greater humanitarian disaster, and we should ensure that emergency aid lifted by air and sea is delivered.
Nice Godwin man!

We should work toward the establishment of an independent, international peacekeeping force in the separatist regions, and stand ready to help our Georgian partners put their country back together. This will entail reviewing anew our relations with both Georgia and Russia. As the NATO secretary general has said, Georgia remains in line for alliance membership, and I hope NATO will move ahead with a membership track for both Georgia and Ukraine.
As I already explained, NO! Besides, the Ukraine is weak!

At the same time, we must make clear to Russia's leaders that the benefits they enjoy from being part of the civilized world require their respect for the values, stability and peace of that world. The U.S. has cancelled a planned joint military exercise with Russia, an important step in this direction. The Georgian people have suffered before, and they suffer today. We must help them through this tragedy, and they should know that the thoughts, prayers and support of the American people are with them. This small democracy, far away from our shores, is an inspiration to all those who cherish our deepest ideals. As I told President Saakashvili on the day the cease-fire was declared, today we are all Georgians. We mustn't forget it.
Again, Georgia is not a democracy.

Is that guy even more stupid than Bush? McCain talks a big game, but where's his fucking solution? East European nations can't join NATO now. And it's a good thing they didn't join earlier either, or we'd be in some fucking mess. Seriously, I'm not excusing Russia. They act like drunken thugs (and I bet most are actually drunk). But to be able to criticize their actions, you need some moral ground to stand on. And the only thing McCain is standing on is the shit dripping from his Depends®.

If you want the real deal on the conflict between Russia and Georgia, read this article in the Guardian: "This is a tale of US expansion not Russian aggression. War in the Caucasus is as much the product of an American imperial drive as local conflicts. It's likely to be a taste of things to come."


Blogger -D.P.R said...

I'm going to throw away our ACTUAL blunders on this type of hypocracy... too easy. Instead, I'll throw out a hypothetical.

What's funny to me is, if we got into a fistfight with, say, Canada for a 51st state that leads directly to Alaska, how quickly something like that would fall into the U.S. category of "nobody elses fucking concern", no matter who started, who tried to secede or annex what, or is at fault to begin with.

If we get "involved" with this shit (an eventuality read: "troop action"), we should SIMULTANEOUSLY "rescue" Georgia (supporting the fear that we are going to invade Russia), "liberate" Tibet (only as an excuse to attack China and supporting that fear they have of us too... the human rights thing is just a bonus), forcefully unify Korea (whoops!), and stop any number of nations in Africa from their genocidal paths with our grumpy, overdeployed heterosexuals.

I mean, if you're gonna do crazy, international, war-stirring shit, don't be half-assed, be crazy all the way!

2:27 AM  
Anonymous Jezebel1669 said...

"We should work toward the establishment of an independent, international peacekeeping force in the separatist regions"

So he wants to send the troops into Georgia then. Given the USA's recent history with 'independent, international peacekeeping forces' I don't think American troops with a couple of auxiliaries drawn from allied nations would be very welcome in the region.

3:58 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is obviously McCain saying whatever he can to get elected. He thinks "straight talk" will make him appear more decisive than his more diplomatic opponent.

1:47 AM  
Anonymous Trey said...

I can't believe what I'm reading, your actually saying that Georgia had it coming. Your laying out the case that "the victim had it coming".

Make no mistake, this is not about South Ossetia or Abkahzi. This is Russia's punishment of Georgia to refuse Russian influnce and it's attempt to join NATO. The only time Russian troops "liberate" anyone is to expand it's own borders.

Fourtunetly, the rest of the world is not so blind, including Russia's immeadiate neighbors that remeber what it is like to have to live with a bear. Estonia, Latvia, Lithuana, and the Ukraine stand with Georgia because they know all to well that it will be them next. Poland sealed a deal to base missile interceptors, devices of nothing but defense. Russia responded by saying Poland has opened itself open to attack (by who, I wonder?).

Isn't it amazing how the nations and former Soviet Republics that were once part of the Warsaw Pact wish they were closer to the U.S. than Russia, in both ideology and geography.

While the current situation offers only tough choices, the free countries of the world need not despair. The Russian plan of changing the face of Georgia was accoplished; it was very difficult to see the people of Tblitsi past the sea of red and white flags when their President spoke to them.

You mock Sen. McCain for wishing to help the Georgian people, but I have a feeling you would not be so quick to do the same to Sen. Obama for wanting to help the people of Darfur, as he has stated many times before. But it doesn't matter. Better men and women than you will go defend freedom and protect those who can't protect themselves while you sit comfterably at home and chide those who bear the burdens you won't.

I hope that people of Georgia will remain free from oppression, even while you couldn't care less what will happen to them.

2:27 AM  
Blogger Sirkowski said...

First, you're missing the entire point. Which is that John McCain has no moral ground to give advice on this matter.

Second, get off your high horse. Nobody's gonna go defend Georgia. Even the Georgian troops are getting out of the way. They're not stupid enough to die for that bullshit.

Finally, this is what you're calling a democracy? A country where the army shuts down television stations?

You're damn right, I ain't gonna fight for that.

3:10 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yet another case of the enemy of my enemy is my friend. I bet in the following decades, if we side with Sashamacallit, we would have to perform an encore performance with our troops, this time in Tbilsi. Starring Russia in the role of Iran.

Any day, I am awaiting for McCain's joke about Russia. Unfortunately, this is probably playing in the hands of the Russian government. It is clear they were waiting for it. The West may not have the high moral ground, but such positions have always been the exception in the whole universe's history, let alone human history.

11:15 AM  
Anonymous Anders said...

It's too bad the Georgians has to suffer for their obviously crooked leaders. the whole thing reminds me of the NATO attack on Serbia in 1999, all the way down to the destruction of civilian infrastructure, though the Russians have a very good military reason to blow up the bridges and roads around the country: If the roads were open, US/NATO aid would be flowing in from Turkey and replace most of the military equipment that was lost in the 7-Day War, sans manpower.

8:30 PM  
Blogger Sirkowski said...

It works, but I doubt Russia was seeing the conflict going this far. They were just blocking Georgian forces. For full NATO strike force to get to the region from Turkey, it would take two weeks minimum. The boats promissed by Bush are still anchored in Ankara and will probably be for another week.

That being said, I don't think NATO was in the wrong during the Kosovo war.

8:44 PM  
Anonymous Anders said...

I don't mean direct military intervention, but supplies to replace all the stuff the Russians have destroyed in the last week, that would enable Georgia to possibly strike at the Russians while they're pulling out.

1:14 PM  
Blogger Bushido Hacks said...


As much as I respect our Vietnam Veterans, John McCain (or as we like to call him "John McSame" or "Cowboy Johnny" (Jello Biafra called Ronald Regan "Cowboy Ronny". Since McSame idolizes him, "Cowboy Johnny McSame" fits) seems to abuse his title as Vietnam Veteran like John Kerry at a Botox users convention.

Georgia was the GOPs backdoor plan. If things were not working out for them in this election, a war in a former Soviet Republic (how retro. Regan would be proud.) would be used to save them from Obama.

Meanwhile, the GOP is trying to ensure that Mutually Assured Destruction occurs on the Internet. Since Senator Ted "Tubes" Stevens tried to cut it down so that the whistle blowers wouldn't uncover his scandle, the GOP is pulling out all the stops and claiming that Russian Hackers are going to destroy the Internet. The country that embraced IRC during the final years of the Cold War, trying to destroy the Internet? That is like taking your family photo album, trying to set it on fire and claiming your in-laws are pyros.

On top of that, the Russians are claiming to inflict a Nuclear Strike on Poland because they're holding some of our ICBMs. (Why do we still have this stuff over there? You never know when the Swedish are going to invade Denmark.)

So while everyone is going back to the 1980s, with their "Nuclear threats", "Russian invasions", "olympic boycotts" and Rick Astley music videos, now would be a good time to build that bunker with the internet access because face it, our country (America) is full of stupid old white men who clearly are still using cocaine (another 1980's piece of crap!) and are in conflict with Iran (80s), Afghanistan (80s), and Russia (oh so fucking 80s), the rest of us in the underground will be living like it is 2008 not 1988.

I fucking hate the 1980s and all these 20th century leaders!
Time to send them all to the old folks home with thier tapioca pudding, and retro 1980s bullshit.

10:27 PM  
Blogger Sirkowski said...

McCain doesn't even know how many houses he owns. Who's the elitist prick now?

11:15 PM  
Blogger Daniel said...

ROFLed @ bushido's 80s rant. Agreed.

11:42 PM  
Blogger Skotti said...

Okay, you and Bushido are officially my new heroes. I almost peed myself laughing at both of your frighteningly accurate rants.

10:18 PM  

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